a new job

So last night, as I am getting Sophia and Hannah settled into bed, Sophia proceeds to ask me if I want a new job. I tell her "No, I don't. Why do you ask?" She then goes on to tell me that she was writing about Christmas in her journal and had to write what her mom wanted for Christmas. Sophia says that she writes that her mom wants a new job and no kids. I about died!! What would make you think that I ask??!! She basically tries to explain that obviously this motherhood job is hard and that I am crabby most of the time. Hannah concurs and says yes, "in her world", I am crabby at them most of the time!!! Wham, Wham. Major blows to my heart! As I pray with them, I ask for forgiveness and for the Lord to make me into a more loving, gently mommy. Do they really see me as getting after them all the time? Is that how they will remember their childhood?! Oh, that I would leave them a legacy worth far more than this!
The silver lining of the last 24 hours was this...my oldest daughter tells me tonight that she has befriended a girl struggling with life. A girl who looks different and acts much different than her and for whatever reason, she trusts McKenzie and shares some tough stuff with her. (ie her desire to drink alcohol) McKenzie goes on to describe how this girl asks what kind of music she listens to and McKenzie tells me how she hasn't felt the courage to say she listens to Christian music when most friends ask her music preference. However, on this occasion, with this girl, she tells her and says that God gave her such peace about telling her! She also tells me about how she prayed for this girl very specifically last week and God answered her and affirmed what she prayed for over this girls life!!! WOW! She really gets it! What a moment! To realize that your child knows and believes that God hears and answers prayer and the He truly is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. I am praying that McKenzie would have a boldness to share Christ with this girl and see that transforming power in her life! Also, tonight, Hannah prayed in such a beautiful way that I was moved beyond words. I am humbled and amazed at how God has worked in their lives. The sweetest thing on earth is seeing them really "get it" and truly trust Him with their lives. I often think, I can take no credit for the positive results just as I won't take credit for the negative results. Only God can do that! I am completely grateful and filled to overflowing with thanks. I do not want to resign from this job. Ever.